ANTI-JUBILEE COLLECTION - Featuring Banksy, dogs, monkeys, The Sex Pistols, Lemmy, a Lamborghini and s**t tattoos.

The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee will be happening soon. Everybody is getting excited. Everybody loves it. Nobody gives a flying fuck about nothing nowadays - apart from cats on the Internet and having a solid number of followers on Twitter – still, at the end of the day, everybody likes the Royalz, which is slightly weird because they don’t do much and they’ve got money, and for plenty of kids out there there’s No Future, but this is going to sound very Marxist, and Deleuzian and Johnny Rottensian, so I’ll shut up and show you a collection of Anti-Jubilee Artifacts, Statements, Collectables, and some other Shit.

1. Posters

An animal-friendly poster. Pets are more popular than Jesus, now. Sorry, John, George, Ringo and the other one.

“Fucking Hostile” celebration poster.

Betty the Zombie.

¡Revolution, compadre!

 2. Prince Charlie Boy mask.

3. Assorted t-shirts.

Even the Queen hates hipsters (courtesy of LONDON FRIDGE).

“1952-2012 – 60 YEARS OF BEING BETTER THAN YOU.” (http://dailymash.shotdeadinthehead.com/product_view.aspx?pid=4506)

“THE QUEEN IS DEAD”, said Morrissey. (http://www.redmolotov.com/catalogue/tshirts/all/the-queen-is-dead-tshirt.html)

“NEVER MIND THE JUBILEE, HERE’S SOME DAYS OFF”, an homage to The Pistols. (http://www.shotdeadinthehead.com/)

“OFF WITH HER HEAD”, a rather straight-to-the-point statement. (http://www.redmolotov.com/catalogue/tshirts/anti-jubilee-tshirts/anti-jubilee-tshirt.html)

4. “Bling it up” Jubilee Sick Bag - http://lydialeith.bigcartel.com/product/jubilee-sick-bag-red

5. WTF chocolate.

6. A shit tattoo.

7. JubiLambo!

8. Another Banksy thing.

Banksy goes political, once again, and, once again, everybody goes “GENIUS!” and the Spaniards freak out and scream “BANSKY BANSKY BANSKY” twisting the order of the letters, but the result does not change.

9. An unusual Jubilee party for monkeys.

See more here http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/gallery/2012/may/29/monkey-tea-party-in-pictures

10. Finally, some good old fucking ROCK ‘N’ ROLL.

Here’s Johnny.

Johnny and the Royalz.

Here’s The Pistols

Here’s Lemmy (in some weird shorts).

And here’s Motörhead, motherfuckers.

The Royal Shredding or ‘I thought Prince was a singer’.

I went to Trafalgar Square today, usually full of pigeons, but not today, as it was one of the places in which they celebrated the Royal Wedding, you know, two people getting married, two billion people all over the world watching and going ‘Fuck, when me parents got married it was just twenty people, the band playing Neil Sedaka and me uncle ******, tipsy as a Russian lieutenant, chatting up the ladies’ and all that kind of stuff. Let’s see what was going on there, before Wikileaks releases stuff about conspiracies and whatnot.

Someone got bored.

Gandalf was there as well, giggling.

Some Spanish tourist got lost: ‘Escus mi, I am espanis and lost my frendz…’

There was a scary guy dressed like a flag that couldn’t reach the bathroom, surrounded by scary people holding someone else’s leg, God knows why.

Here’s the kids getting married, if you get a closer look and/or you are on Ketamine.

The event was sponsored by MARKS EXPENSIVE, with BLT sandwiches flying everywhere.

A black woman dressed like a Christmas tree, and a policeman that doesn’t give a flying shit about weddings, he’s just thinking of fast cars and the fact that uniforms were more comfortable in the 70s.

Please pay inside.

A hipster wannabe, with a bobby hat and a dangerously drunk friend.

‘Ma’am, did you know that Camilla is a black dude, in real life?’ ‘Ow, really? I thought she was a mix between a lurcher and a horse, me.’

A guy with a beard sporting a Snow White dress poses in front of the chemical loos.

‘Can I get two pints of rat poison please, and a glass of Rose wine, love?’.

Two scary princes smiling without a reason.

A chubby lady and her tipsy boyfriend pretending they’re the Royals. The lady behind them looks like Ronnie Wood, God bless him.